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Thursday, 26 November 2015

Remembering Summer :)

 Hi Again!
 Remember I told you that I am considering to bring back my YouTube videos?! So, I decided why not??? YouTube videos make me happy, too as long as I don't over think about them. :-)
 I've recently discovered I have lots of vlogs from June I didn't get to edit and upload because I was working almost all summer long and didn't have time and health to do it. So, now I am doing it!!! It's also a great way to relax right now 'cause I have lots of stress at school and remembering the good old days of summer really makes me happy. :-)
 So, if you're not feeling well at the moment then just remember the good old times and cheer up! Soon is Christmas and lots of HOLIDAYS! :-D
 Or you can just watch my old vlog and laugh with me!

<3 <3 <3

Made In the A.M.

 Hello, Everybody!
 Can we just take a minute to say how AMAZING the new One Direction's album Made In the A.M. is. Seriously, I wasn't even expecting anything that awesome as that. It's incredible! 
 Guys has grown up SO MUCH. The music by itself has got so much better that I am not ashamed to say I am a Directioner. One Direction now is officially a good choice to listen to not only for the teenagers but also for an older generation. The new album just sounds so great and fresh. So many beautiful musical transitions. The rhythm, the beat, the intonations, the voices, literally everything is PERFECT! <3 The lyrics also didn't lose its beauty. I would say the lyrics have got even deeper than before. I LOVE IT!

 My favourite song is Infinity so far but of course I love all of them. Just I think Infinity is the most epic one. It's a kind of song I can listen to forever. When I am asleep, when I am on the road, when I am sad and when I am happy.  :) Especially I like the part of the song that says: "How many nights have you wished someone would stay? Lie awake only hoping they're okay". I can totally relate to that. I just know how it feels like. And I am not talking only about romantic relationships. I am talking about relationships in general. Sometimes people that are close to you walk away from your life and never tell you why. It hurts even more than when people actually tell the reason. It keeps you thinking about it all the time. What have I done wrong? What is wrong with me? Why did they leave? Why we can't get back to the old days? It is torturing. And most of the time those things happen so suddenly that it strikes you. You keep wondering what had happened and whether the other person miss you too the same much as you miss him/her. In my life I've experienced it with my really close best friends tons of time. Everything would be alright, I'd thought we're bonded forever and then they just decide to leave. And when you try to reach out for them they run away or ignore you or say that it's complicated and that they can't explain. When it happens it always makes me feel very very sad maybe even more than sad - broken. I always wish we could just talk things through because I am a huge optimist and a believer in miracles and endless second chances but apparently some people aren't. And you just have got to live with it. And get used to the fact that people can easily walk into your life and get close to you and then they can just leave... I hope I will never be the person who would make someone else feels like that because I know this miserable feeling way too well. This is why Infinity is my favourite song. I really do lie awake and think about every single person that dropped me and hope that they okay because even though I can be angry with them for a while I still love each one of them and feel sad that they have decided to quit. 
 You  know if you have ever been in the same situation or you are in the same situation right now then all you can really do is to let it go and keep going, focus on something that truly matters to you like family (family always will help :) ) or on what you love doing (I always love spending more time on Arts and self-development at that time). And just believe me with time God will give you better people around you than those that have left you. Believe. :)
 This is it for today. I hope you don't mind that I got a little bit personal and emotional today. 
love you <3
love you <3
love you <3

Monday, 23 November 2015

Am I Back? | Vai es esmu atpaka─╝?

 Hi guys!
 I haven't posted anything on my blog for a VERY long time. I had some reasons for it. But recently I've been missing it INSANELY VERY MUCH.
 I had summer job to do and always was super tired after work that I could not find strengths to blog. Then at the end of August when I quit my job I got sick and was sick for a long time. I still get sick way too often (and sometimes this fact really puts me down) but even now when I don't feel really good I still have a desire to write on my blog about a lot of things. Seriously, I just have SO MUCH to tell you that I can not handle it anymore.
 Other reasons why I did not blog were of course school, too much of homework and tiredness. And partly I also wanted to take a little break from the virtual world myself as I was afraid making of my blog and YouTube took SO MUCH time that I could not find time for family, friends and other important things for me like volunteering and helping at church or playing the guitar. I just always have way too many things in my life going on and I stress and worry about every thing way too much that most of the time it's hard to keep everything in its places, to be organised, to understand what I really need to do and what I really want to do and where am I going generally. I get confused about everything in my life from time to time. 
 So I wanted to try to live without Light As Butterfly for some time and be an usual Eva as always that doesn't have a blog or a channel. That only goes to school, concentrates ONLY on serious things, helps people and does ONLY what she has to do. But it seems a little bit boring to me like something is lacking. I like having a happy virtual place online for me and other people to be happy and communicate with similarly minded people, to share LOVE, POSITIVITY and HAPPINESS. To simply talk about the things that matter to us and have fun. I love it. And as I can't stop thinking about getting back to blogging and it really makes me happy maybe this is just the real love. Me and my blog. That's important. :-D 
 It ain't that easy with the decision to get back on YouTube because YouTube really takes TONS OF TIME. And I have a very old computer that doesn't work that good. So even 5 min video takes 5 hours for me to make which is way too much as I don't want to turn into a girl that lives only in the VIRTUAL WORLD of the Internet 'cause I want to have a life, too. So I'm doubting about if it's a good idea to restart making videos. Sometimes I upload videos and then hate myself for doing that because I think it's stupid, my voice is terrible, the quality is bad and the content is foolish... so, yessss...
 So, it's quite complicated. But I know that I really want to start again blogging as it's less stressful than YouTube for me right now and also I just don't like my life without it anymore. Like... I'm trying to imagine my perfect job I'd like to have until I'm 80 and I can't think about anything so nice as a full time blogger. If you're a blogger you can work at home. Do what you love. You can connect your hobbies with it. And other pluses. Travelling and working at the same time. Blogging is very enjoyable by itself. The problem is I have things to do besides blogging. School, homework, family responsibilities and in summer it aslo can be a summer job. But I also understand that when I'll grow up I'll always face the same problems and maybe even the more important ones.
 So I'll try as hard as I can to blog because that's what I love and it makes me happy. And I'll try to find the balance between responsibilities, real and virtual worlds. And if I'll have sterngths I'll also do videos.
 I'm not sure there was any sense of writing this blog post so long... It's more just  for me to realize what I want and for starting bloggers to get to know what problems they may face when they start a blog or YouTube. There must be a balance between everything. Must be a purpose and a reason why. Personally for me this blog's purpose is to share my thoughts and likes with others and the reason is that I like this whole process by itself that I don't care if people will read it or no... I do realize people nowadays read less and less and probably such long blog posts like mine are also unsuitable for nowadays generation. But I don't care because I love it. That's the most important. It's important to do what you love and what matters to you. :-)
 So, in the conclusion, I announce that I AM BACK!!! Good luck to me!
 See you soon,
 Lova lova <3 

 P.S. And what do you think of it all? If you're a blogger do you also face those problems? Tell me please! It's really important for me to know what people think about all of this. Thank you.