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Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Winter in New York

 Dreaming of visiting New York in the winter time. It looks so magical and beautiful . <3 I want to travel. Ehhh...
 Get inspired!
 P.S. None of this pictures belong to me.

Tuesday, 29 November 2016

Making A Hard Decision

 Hello Everybody!
 This year is my last year at school... You are right, it is sad... at least for me... I wish I never grew up. You know, I sometimes like to come to the school and instead of immediately going to the lessons I go, hide in the lockers' room and drink some tea or come to the lessons and draw in my notebooks all day instead of learning. Or just talk with teachers about life. I understand that at work I will not be able to do that but I enjoy these little moments of happiness at school. However as the final examinations are coming this is the time for all the senior students to decide which path do they want to go in their life. It's time to step into the "big" world as the teachers say.

 Many of my friends already know what they want to study and where, and some of them have even already prepared everything for the university applications. I admire these people. I know plenty of students who have decided what they want to do in their life when they were about nine or ten years old and nothing has changed since then. They are pursuing their dreams. For me the lives of these people are already perfect because they at least know what they want to study in university, they have a plan for their life.
 I am one of those who likes to do many things at the same time, has many hobbies and is interested in many subjects. It is very hard for me to decide what professional career I want to have. I realize that there is not much time but I have a plan. I will share with you some of my ideas about how to make a hard decision when you are in doubt and will try to remember these points myself.
  1. Organise a lottery for only you!
  I like to write all of my options down on the small pieces of paper. I mix them together and with the closed eyes I pick up only one piece of paper. Then I simply do what it says me to do. I know this is very risky to make vital decisions this way but well maybe in some cases when it is a very desperate situation it is acceptable.
  2. Make a research of the universities, their programs and also the market! How much does the education cost? Do I have the abilities to study that? Will I be able to find a job after I graduate?
  3. Write down your likes and dislikes! Identify your priorities in life! If you want a very active life style then probably a programmer is not the best profession for you because their job is more sedentary. And if you want a sedentary life style than a sports career perhaps is not for you.
  4. Talk to your parents! They are the ones who know you better than anybody because they have been watching you since the day you were born. They know your weak and your strong characteristics. Perhaps they have seen your early interests in some of the areas and can remind you of that and  give you some piece of advice.
  5. Go to a career consultation or take a career test! I have these consultations in my school but still have not used it because I am very afraid of psychologists. Every time I talk to them it feels like they are getting inside of my body and try to find a problem inside of me and this is not a pleasant feeling. It feels like they do an x-ray right inside my soul. Weird. But I believe after I will go through this discomfort it will help me realize something more about what my career choice should be.
  6. Pray/meditate! It is not right to make a life important decision in a hurry. You should find a silent place, a free moment when you do not have to worry about anything and truly think about what do you want. Take some time to be alone if you need it. :)

  These were my six suggestions for myself and others who can not make a decision. If you have some other ideas and some pieces of advice please share them in the comments! I will be happy to read them.
  Good luck!

Thursday, 24 November 2016

Birthday Memories & Gifts 2016

 Hello Everybody!
 Last week I've celebrated my 19th birthday and I wanted to share some memories with you before it all faded away. :) ( and by the way today is my brother's birthday so we are about to make some more memories)
 Honestly I think with every year my birthdays become better and better and I become a happier and more grateful person. God has really blessed me a lot. If I am not counting my 16th birthday when I decided not to celebrate (all teenagers sometimes go through this phase when they think celebrating a birthday is not worth it) all of my birthdays were much fun. And this year I had another girls party with pizza, old city walks and hot coffee drinks.
These are my beautiful girls <3

 I made everyone write me some wishes in my journal and most of them wished me a good marriage, lots of travelling and also to be always in a good relationships with God and never stop searching for more. I think that's all is very cute. :) Then I also made them tell funny stories about me and it was nice to be reminded of some awkward silly stories I've already forgotten from years ago at school and also in all the other places. I have already forgotten that when I was fifteen it was okay for me to go to an island and film a video where I scream that I love 1D and later also call myself a little penguin. LOL. :D

 The pizza was yummy and it all was very cosy. Girls also showed how much they know me by the gifts giving. Everything was so girly and cute. But unfortunately one gift slipped from my fingers and got a little bit broken. Then it was very cold outside so the flowers died, too and I felt very sorry and guilty about that. I hope the girls aren't angry with me for that. I've also received some gift cards so I can buy some new makeup/books/clothing so maybe in the future there will be new haul blog posts because my salary has already been wasted on a new mobile telephone (can you imagine on my last telephone the camera broke so I couldn't take any pictures for my Instagram at all *super sad emoji* but now thanks to God I have Huawei P8 Lite and its camera is AMAZING) :D
Me taking a picture with a dying flower. <3

  I also wanted to show you some beauty/body care gifts I've got.
 First is this Stenders Oranges Soap which smells amazing. It gives me a Christmas feeling and the packaging is very very beautiful. There are flowers, straw and even a piece of cinnamon inside the box. Pretty.

 If you've never tried Stenders body care products then you're missing a lot. It's all organic and has nice scents.
 Second is this very sweet shower cream. It is sweet vanilla and madeleine scented. WARNING! it is very very sweet and if you prefer fresh scents then perhaps this is not for you. But the packaging is also very beautiful - vintage style like.

 And the last is this cute package of Palmolive body care products. They also smell very fresh and if to be honest Palmolive( +I also like Superdrug brand shower gels and shampoos) shower gels are my favorite so the one who was giving this to me hit the target. ;)

 I think this is it. Thanks to everyone who made this day special to me! And I'll see you in my next post!
 Lots of love,

Wednesday, 23 November 2016

Break Ups and Growing Up

 Hello Everybody!
 I find it very interesting that most of my posts are written when I'm feeling very sad or very happy or when it's a miserable combination of both. I've started writing this post about a week ago but didn't post it probably because I wasn't ready or didn't have the guts to do it. But here it is.

 Soon is my birthday. I'm going to turn 19 years old! wooohooo! Although the thought of a birthday celebration gives me a lot of joy but probably it is also the reason why I have been feeling so uneasy recently and did a lot of my life reconsideration in general.

 Since I was a child I've always had a very wide circle of friends. Some of them lived nearby and some of them - far away, some of them were much younger, some of them - much older, some of them were very different from me and some of them - very similar to me.  Each one of them was very unique and special to me. And it was always  hard to admit that with some time our paths had to go in different directions. It didn't matter if our relationships were like "just friends" or "something more than friends" and if we met every day or very rarely. I just always got attached to the people very quickly and strongly and each break up was like the end of the world to me.
  A few weeks ago out of curiosity I simply decided to make a list of people who have given up on me and it turned out that the names could fill in the whole A4 sheets of paper. It's kind of sad and funny at the same time to realize how many broken relationships you can have by the age of 19. It actually makes you fear of getting any new relationships at all. The reasons for people to leave each other can be very different: people lose the interest in each other, the long distance makes everything harder or sometimes in a mysterious way one day your friend wakes up and now he/she is just somebody that you used to know. I'll never understand how do these things happen.
 For me it just feels like a relationship is a huge beautiful ship that's sinking and I'm the only one who is still trying to hold on to the board of that ship and survive but unfortunately it's a shipwreck and I'm left wounded if not dead. I used to feel like that. I used to blame the other person. I used to be sad and angry on them for leaving me and not trying to save the beautiful ship.

 When you're going through a very hard break up it also may make you think you're not good enough or that perhaps you simply don't deserve a good healthy relationships. I know a lot of girls would start searching for a problem inside themselves asking questions like: "What have I done? What's wrong with me? Was that too much or was  that not enough? " - and the list goes on with hundred questions like that.
  But I've also realized with some time that  I've become not only the person who is left all alone but sometimes I am also the person that leaves the other people. It just happens. Even though I know how painful it can be to my friends I sometimes give up on them, too. Perhaps it's just a part of growing up. Not every relationship is meant to be forever. 
  People break up by many reasons and most of the time it's really hard to understand. And it's okay to feel sad for some period of time because even though this person is still alive but for you he/she is lost forever. They walked away. It was their decision. But it doesn't mean it's my fault. It doesn't mean my worth is any less because of tha. It doesn't mean that from now on I'm unfortunate in relationships. NO. I am I. And THEY are THEY. And YOU are YOU. And you are worthy of everything and complete with somebody or without them. You must remember that. If you stop loving yourself just because someone has given up on you then you're stealing the opportunity from other people to love you. I know in my own experience it's really hard to love somebody who doesn't love himself. And the only person who can make you happy is YOU. That's a decision. You can't blame others in your unhappiness.
  To sum up it all, I want to say that I know how HARD it is to lose a close person in your life. And it's okay to take some to to grieve and get over it. But you can't think your life is over because somebody left/gave up on you. You can't put all of your hopes for happiness in another person. It's wrong. A person is only a person and we all FAIL sometimes. You must do your happiness yourself. Breaking up is simply a part of growing up. :) After you lose something there will appear some new good things in your life, believe me.
  Today in the morning I've heard a song by Shawn Mendes - Mercy. And I think it reflects my feelings perfectly when I'm realizing that the other person no more loves me and we have to break up. Take a listen.

Stay Strong!