I haven't posted anything on my blog for a VERY long time. I had some reasons for it. But recently I've been missing it INSANELY VERY MUCH.
I had summer job to do and always was super tired after work that I could not find strengths to blog. Then at the end of August when I quit my job I got sick and was sick for a long time. I still get sick way too often (and sometimes this fact really puts me down) but even now when I don't feel really good I still have a desire to write on my blog about a lot of things. Seriously, I just have SO MUCH to tell you that I can not handle it anymore.
Other reasons why I did not blog were of course school, too much of homework and tiredness. And partly I also wanted to take a little break from the virtual world myself as I was afraid making of my blog and YouTube took SO MUCH time that I could not find time for family, friends and other important things for me like volunteering and helping at church or playing the guitar. I just always have way too many things in my life going on and I stress and worry about every thing way too much that most of the time it's hard to keep everything in its places, to be organised, to understand what I really need to do and what I really want to do and where am I going generally. I get confused about everything in my life from time to time.
So I wanted to try to live without Light As Butterfly for some time and be an usual Eva as always that doesn't have a blog or a channel. That only goes to school, concentrates ONLY on serious things, helps people and does ONLY what she has to do. But it seems a little bit boring to me like something is lacking. I like having a happy virtual place online for me and other people to be happy and communicate with similarly minded people, to share LOVE, POSITIVITY and HAPPINESS. To simply talk about the things that matter to us and have fun. I love it. And as I can't stop thinking about getting back to blogging and it really makes me happy maybe this is just the real love. Me and my blog. That's important. :-D
It ain't that easy with the decision to get back on YouTube because YouTube really takes TONS OF TIME. And I have a very old computer that doesn't work that good. So even 5 min video takes 5 hours for me to make which is way too much as I don't want to turn into a girl that lives only in the VIRTUAL WORLD of the Internet 'cause I want to have a life, too. So I'm doubting about if it's a good idea to restart making videos. Sometimes I upload videos and then hate myself for doing that because I think it's stupid, my voice is terrible, the quality is bad and the content is foolish... so, yessss...
So, it's quite complicated. But I know that I really want to start again blogging as it's less stressful than YouTube for me right now and also I just don't like my life without it anymore. Like... I'm trying to imagine my perfect job I'd like to have until I'm 80 and I can't think about anything so nice as a full time blogger. If you're a blogger you can work at home. Do what you love. You can connect your hobbies with it. And other pluses. Travelling and working at the same time. Blogging is very enjoyable by itself. The problem is I have things to do besides blogging. School, homework, family responsibilities and in summer it aslo can be a summer job. But I also understand that when I'll grow up I'll always face the same problems and maybe even the more important ones.
So I'll try as hard as I can to blog because that's what I love and it makes me happy. And I'll try to find the balance between responsibilities, real and virtual worlds. And if I'll have sterngths I'll also do videos.
I'm not sure there was any sense of writing this blog post so long... It's more just for me to realize what I want and for starting bloggers to get to know what problems they may face when they start a blog or YouTube. There must be a balance between everything. Must be a purpose and a reason why. Personally for me this blog's purpose is to share my thoughts and likes with others and the reason is that I like this whole process by itself that I don't care if people will read it or no... I do realize people nowadays read less and less and probably such long blog posts like mine are also unsuitable for nowadays generation. But I don't care because I love it. That's the most important. It's important to do what you love and what matters to you. :-)
So, in the conclusion, I announce that I AM BACK!!! Good luck to me!
See you soon,
Lova lova <3
P.S. And what do you think of it all? If you're a blogger do you also face those problems? Tell me please! It's really important for me to know what people think about all of this. Thank you.